m is okay and I am so very grateful

Little m is okay. She was hit by a car last night in a horrific scene, with all of us within feet of her, but unable to do anything. Her little 5-year-old body was picked up and thrown 20 feet, and she landed on her side in the middle of the road. By the time I reached her, she was trying to get up and was gasping for air. I lifted her and took her to the side of the road with M and looked back at the driver. He looked at us for a moment, made eye contact and then drove off. I was screaming at him, then took m to a grassy patch on the roadside and laid her down. M was calling an ambulance.

There's plenty of guilt to go around. We were in Warabi, M's family's home, after taking some futons from the beach house to store there while we're building. There's a cheap vegetable store across the road and, as everyone else does, we waited for a break in traffic (it's not a major thoroughfare), and crossed. On the way back, I had already crossed with the bag of shopping and looked back to see little m on her own--she'd slipped her aunt's grip--standing on the yellow line. I screamed at her to stop and wait but she took two steps across the road and thunk.

The van hit her, lifted her up in the air and then both moved out of my line of vision--all in slow motion. And I died inside. That saying about life passing in front of your eyes? It was like watching a future go by, imagining life without her. I dropped all the shopping and ran around the corner, dreading what I was going to see, but she was already moving.

M's sister Y and several other people, including 2 young guys from the vegetable store, took off after the van, but he was moving fast. Little m was in shock, moving her legs and trying to get up, but she was complaining about pain in her chest and hip and I held her down and stroked her head, trying to feel for any head injuries. There were no visible wounds or scratches even, but she kept complaing about her hip. A young guy came back to tell us that he had chased down the driver (he had been in the car right behind, and had the amazing presence of mind to not gawk, but take off when the guy did), and some of the young men from the vegetable store were now holding him for the police. The driver of the taxi just next to where m was hit had stopped to help, and gave us his name as a witness before having to leave.

The paramedics were working on m and the police hadn't arrived yet. She was talking and answering questions and they lifted her on the stretcher and put her in the ambulance. M got in and they told me to wait for the police. I ran down the road for 400 meters to the place where they were holding the driver. I started to go around the van to get to the driver, but the people stopped me and said they had it under control. They said to go back to the scene and tell the police when they arrived where they had stopped them.

The police had arrived by the time I ran back. We went through a short explanation and then they brought the driver back. I kept asking if I could go to the hospital, because I really couldn't stand being around the driver. He was acting completely nonchalant, ignoring me and m's aunt Y, until finally one of the cops started yelling at him to apologize. Which he finally did, begrudgingly. I screamed at him, "Why did you run away? How could you?" and he just kept shrugging. Y was doing most of the talking, and they finally let me go.

By the time I got to the hospital, they had finished with the blood tests and x-rays, and M and m were waiting in one of the emergency rooms. m was still in shock, kind of staring silently at us. I said that she'd never told me she could fly, but I saw her fly through the air. She must have been trying to get out of the way of the car. Did she remember flying? And she nodded and smiled. And slowly started coming back to the real m.

Amazingly, the only visible damage was a bruise that was slowly changing color on her hip. There were no scrapes or scratches or cuts. The doctor returned with the test results and said there were no signs of internal bleeding and no sign of injury to her head, but that some readings are difficult because of the shock factor, so they wanted to keep her overnight for observation. Which got m crying, since she wanted to go home.

M and I spent a lot of time there at the bed, just hugging each other, while waiting for them to make the arrangements. After they got settled in, I had to get back to Tokyo to feed the cat, and spend a lot of time on the phone with the police. Not a lot of sleep last night. The image of that car slamming into her little body and seeing her tossed out of my sight just keeps playing in my mind whether my eyes are closed or open.

Y told me that after I left, she and the cops finally got a reason from the driver for his running. He told them that he was in a hurry because he'd promised to lend the car to his brother.

I don't know what to say about all the incredible people there at the time. It was as if they had all been through accident rehearsals. After Y was unable to chase down the van on foot, people along the route were handing her memos that they had written the licence plate info on. The young guys at the vegetable store had taken it upon themselves to go and hold the driver after he'd been stopped. While I was waiting, people young and old were coming up to ask if I was the father, and then would hand me canned drinks and say kind things. The paramedics, police, everyone was extremely professional and very, very kind.

I just got the call from M that they finished the tests this morning and the doctor was very optimistic. I'm not going to wait for the results; I'm heading out now.

I am so very grateful. I'll put this down as a miracle, regardless of what anyone thinks.